December 21, 2011- On the same day that my cancer battle was to be pretty much over, I was wrong. In my anesthesia haze, my plastic surgeon tearfully told me that he found a marble-sized lump on my 'previously known-as good' breast.
What? I signed up for my first 1/2 marathon in May in Toronto, planned to go snowboarding in Whistler in early March, visit friends out in LA in late March, and planned a big girls trip to Vegas in August! WTF? I have no time for more cancer! This was my big, fun year!
I'm starting this blog because I have a feeling I have a long road ahead and I'm not about to post all of my baggage on Facebook. Facebook: where people embellish their shiny, happy life, even though most are probably about as miserable as I am. So for those of you who care about what's going on with me at all, or for those who don't know me at all, here it is. I'm not going to hold back or sugarcoat anything- I'm keeping this real- good, bad, ugly.
Today is Christmas Day. We get up and open presents- the kids are so happy! I hold out as long as I can, but eventually I head upstairs to my room and cry and go to sleep. There is a house-full of people so no one should notice. I drag myself out of bed after a long nap. "Soul Surfer" is on Encore. I've seen it before, but I see it from a different perspective now. Bethany talks of the 'Impact Zone': That’s the area in the ocean on the way out to where you catch the waves. This mid-area is where the waves are fully curling over and crashing. If you get caught in it you feel like a pair of inside-out jeans in a washing machine. You’re pummeled and spit out. This is where I live right now! Well, actually, I've been here for a good 4 years now. (Luckily, I enjoy fun roller-coaster rides....)
So, I decided this will be the name of my blog: Impact Zone.
I better talk about my physical state. I feel completely fine. I have no pain at all from my surgery and haven't since I awoke to the bad news. I've taken valium to sleep because my mind is racing. But I need no pain meds, not even Advil. My best friend Kari who is an OR nurse says this lack of pain must be because I had an expander for so many months. I think it's because I'm a badass and I'm one tough chica :)
8 comments:
Amy, this news sucks. I don't know another way to put it. I am here for support. You are in my daily thoughts and prayers and I've put you on my Mom's list too. Xoxo - Katie
The best part of the impact zone is the amazing ride after the turmoil. Get well soon my friend.
Much love and support being sent your way... You are a Badass and tough Chica. Dont ever forget that:)
Hi Amy - I'm friends with Mark Smith on FB, and he "liked" the link to this blog, and I clicked and found you here.
I look forward to reading your stories. Your comment about facebook posts has me thinking about my own blog that I might just start someday. I find myself increasingly frustrated about what to write or not write on FB, and having a blog to go to or not makes a lot of sense for those who may be my audience.
I don't have cancer, but I have other struggles that I could write about. Maybe one day I will. In the meantime, I look forward to following you here.
Should the trip to Whistler work out for you, I live in the Vancouver area, and would love to meet up for coffee.
I like your writing - its real and fresh. Thank you for starting a blog!
Lori.
So glad you are venting this way. You are a natural writer, so let it out girlfriend. You know we are all here for you because of what a wonderful human you are and you so deserve everyone's love and attention in your time of need.
As I like to do on a routine basis, I'm hijacking your blog (please feel free to remove if it's too much identifying info for your comfort). Here's fund-raising info so that your open-hearted friends and family, or wealthy total strangers can help you in a very real and tangible way....
2 fund raisers are set up to help Amy during the struggles ahead:
#1 Send checks or walk in with cash to Star Financial Bank of Angola 2004 N. Wayne Street Suite F Angola,IN 46703 to donate to the "PINK RIBBON FUND". This money goes to Amy only, to use how she sees fit.
#2 Visit Don't Worry Be Happy (DWBHshirts.com) and order products as gifts, or wear them yourself. Designate Amy Wheeler as your "Warrior" of choice. A large portion of the purchase (usually about half) goes directly to Amy's medical bills after the not for profit company negotiates the bill down as far as they can. A small percentage goes to cancer research too.
Love you and I will continue to support you any way I can!
Hi Amy. I learned of your site through my sister-in-law Laura, and Joey. I know they are huge supporters of yours! I'm so sorry about the latest report from your Doctor. Like Katie says above, this news sucks. Keep battling through!
I wanted to thank you for starting this blog and for sharing your journey with us. For those of us who have not had cancer, we have a lot to learn, so following your words will be helpful to many of us.
I bought a DWBH hoodie for my son Alex for Christmas and designated you as our "warrior". He loves that sweatshirt, and has been spreading the word about that site ever since he discovered it.
I just wanted you to know we are thinking of you, sending you hugs and healing thoughts! Stay strong Amy!
xo, Connie Vorderman
Amy,
Your news saddens me. I know we do not know each other really well, but if there is anything you ever needed you should know you can call on me. You are so strong and you need to keep up the fight. You are an awesome writer as well. I hope this blog helps you to heal through your expression and knowing the support you have from others. I beleive it will helps others as well. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care and God bless.
Vicki Hinshaw
Amy, Why so quiet? You have so much to work through right now. Many of us wish we could be there to ease your worries, make you laugh louder and longer, and share a box of tissues. We want to hear your voice, because you are not the type to hold back. Keep it coming, girlfriend! Lots of love, Kell
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