December 21, 2011- On the same day that my cancer battle was to be pretty much over, I was wrong. In my anesthesia haze, my plastic surgeon tearfully told me that he found a marble-sized lump on my 'previously known-as good' breast.
What? I signed up for my first 1/2 marathon in May in Toronto, planned to go snowboarding in Whistler in early March, visit friends out in LA in late March, and planned a big girls trip to Vegas in August! WTF? I have no time for more cancer! This was my big, fun year!
I'm starting this blog because I have a feeling I have a long road ahead and I'm not about to post all of my baggage on Facebook. Facebook: where people embellish their shiny, happy life, even though most are probably about as miserable as I am. So for those of you who care about what's going on with me at all, or for those who don't know me at all, here it is. I'm not going to hold back or sugarcoat anything- I'm keeping this real- good, bad, ugly.
Today is Christmas Day. We get up and open presents- the kids are so happy! I hold out as long as I can, but eventually I head upstairs to my room and cry and go to sleep. There is a house-full of people so no one should notice. I drag myself out of bed after a long nap. "Soul Surfer" is on Encore. I've seen it before, but I see it from a different perspective now. Bethany talks of the 'Impact Zone': That’s the area in the ocean on the way out to where you catch the waves. This mid-area is where the waves are fully curling over and crashing. If you get caught in it you feel like a pair of inside-out jeans in a washing machine. You’re pummeled and spit out. This is where I live right now! Well, actually, I've been here for a good 4 years now. (Luckily, I enjoy fun roller-coaster rides....)
So, I decided this will be the name of my blog: Impact Zone.
I better talk about my physical state. I feel completely fine. I have no pain at all from my surgery and haven't since I awoke to the bad news. I've taken valium to sleep because my mind is racing. But I need no pain meds, not even Advil. My best friend Kari who is an OR nurse says this lack of pain must be because I had an expander for so many months. I think it's because I'm a badass and I'm one tough chica :)