Today, I had two people ask me why I haven't posted a new blog entry lately. Well, some of us have day jobs, people! Not to mention 3 kids and all of their activities. {By the way, the frozen meals Laura and Cass brought me last week are coming in very handy this week with 3 basketball games- thanks, girls, the lasagna rolls were a real hit!} SILVER LINING!
I've also had a lot of people tell me that they had no idea what I was going through and of course, they have many questions. Living in a small town and going through all this crisis has also been interesting- I've heard all kinds of funny, false rumors. I find myself getting frustrated explaining a lot of the procedures, diagnoses, etc. over and over again, but I have to remember that A) I personally didn't know about this stuff before it happened to me, and B) I was the one who chose to NOT be private about this whole experience, therefore, I have to accept and understand the curiosities of others. If you see me around town, don't hesitate to talk to me about my health- 90% of the time, I'm up for it. If I'm not, I'm holed up at home and I avoid people. My close friends definitely sniff this behavior out, and pull me out of it by: bringing me Blizzards (Kathleen), bringing me breakfast (Joey), kidnapping me for a long walk (Kelly). Calls and texts from long distance friends; in-box messages from people who don't know me, and I don't know them, but found out about my blog through mutual friends; emails from colleagues...these all hold profound meaning to me and I am so blessed to have so many caring people pepper my life!
For those who are just getting up to speed to what's going on with me, I'm going to write a quick timeline to catch you up with what's going on- I'm sorry if this is repetitive for some of you- skip ahead past the bullet points.
First, here is my health history in a nutshell (pre-cancer). It's short, because I WAS completely healthy before f'in breast cancer!
*I'm a 41-year-old, healthy weight female.
*I exercise regularly
*No allergies
*No surgeries except wisdom teeth extraction in 1987.
*No fertility issues
*1 healthy pregnancy, 1 stressful twin pregnancy; pre-eclampsia- all healthy natural deliveries (NO DRUGS- yeah, that's right, I said NO DRUGS, NO EPIDURALS)
*Frequent UTIs since the age of 22
*Baseline mammogram performed at the age of 37 by advice of my doctor. It was fine.
Here is timeline since my last mammogram performed in April of 2011:
APRIL 2011: Routine mammogram detected calcifications in left breast
APRIL 2011: Magnified mammogram showed clustering of these calcifications, so biopsy ordered
APRIL 2011: Biopsy performed and Ductal Carcinoma In Situ was diagnosed (non-invasive Stage 0 breast cancer)
MAY 2011: After many consultations, I decided on left-side only mastectomy w/reconstruction
JULY 21, 2011: Mastectomy performed on left breast and expander put in place
JULY-SEP 2011: Weekly trips to plastic surgeon to "fill in" expander slowly with saline to stretch skin to make room for implant
NOV 2011: Genetic counseling (I will blog about this experience separately in the future) and genetic testing for BRCA1 and BRCA2 (breast cancer gene). I tested NEGATIVE.
DEC 21, 2011: Implant surgery by plastic surgeon. Left-side gel implant put into place. While surgeon went into my "good" breast to put in implant, he found a marble-sized lump. It was biopsied immediately, and it was cancerous, so he closed me up right away. While coming out of anesthesia, I experienced raspiness and a cough and my oxygen level was low. They couldn't get it stabilized so they sent me to ER for chest x-ray and CT scan. Everything was negative and the cough went away on its own.
DEC 31, 2011: Consultation with surgeon who performed my first mastectomy. I consent for right-side mastectomy and reconstruction. He indicated that an incidental lesion was found on my liver during on the CT scan. He wasn't too concerned but ordered MRI to be on the safe side.
JAN 4, 2012: MRI performed on my abdomen (liver). Results were inconclusive. They "think" it's a benign adenoma but my surgeon orders a PET scan because of my history of cancer to rule out malignancy and metastasis.
JAN 12, 2012: PET Scan scheduled
JAN 31, 2012: Right-side mastectomy/placement of expander scheduled
DECEMBER 21-PRESENT: FREAKED OUT MORE THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE! I open my eyes every morning, realize I'm not dreaming, and my stomach instantly hurts. But I pray for a minute and put my feet on the ground and go. I just go.
I read this morning that every time I affirm my trust in God, I put a coin in His Trust Treasury, and this builds up equity for days of trouble. So I'm trying to trust, not worry. Trying.
I hadn't intended to blog tonight, I'm sorry it's kind of long! Be prepared for the next blog entry. Please pray that the PET scan doesn't light up like a Christmas Tree. If you are still having problems posting a comment on this blog, and you want to contact me, feel free to email me at amymariesmith93@gmail.com.
10 comments:
Hi Ames.... hope this finds you well. You certainly are going through a lot, more than most people could bear. Stay strong and know that we all care about you and are praying for you.
Never give up! 8^)
Thinking of you Amy and the journey we are taking together . We are Warriors, we will do this with strength and faith! I will continue to say prayers for you daily . I'm so excited for our first cocktail! Love and light- Amy Nickerson Parker
Amy, sending tons of love and pink healing light to you every day. You are in our prayer group too. There is a powerful collective force workingforyou. Xx
Hey there, have to post under anonymous! Big healing prayers and hugs to you, as always!! Julie Jennings
I teach at a Catholic school. We pray the rosary monthly. Tomorrow my class is offering up our prayers to you! :)
Hey Amy... thoughts and prayers for you and your family I have been thinking about you...hang in there! Rosie. Brandt
Thanks Miss Amy for the update! You are surrounded by love and prayers! It's ok to wake up and be sick about what you are going through but the most important thing you do is go...just go. You may actually think you're JUST going, I mean plugging along, and you may be for a minute, but in reality what you are doing is encouraging the rest of us to get up and go. Does that make sense?! I thank you for being you and I thank God for putting you into my life to be a wonderful example of what it is to be faithfilled and to remind me to live my life more faithfilled!! Love ya! Gina
Hi Amy, How wonderful that you're blogging! I saw your note about putting trust in God. Know that God's right there with you in all of the wonderful doctors, nurses, family and friends who are here to give you strength and get you through this. You are one of the most courageous and positive people I know, and you will get through this, no problem! May God work miracles through the many people around you who love you very much. xoxo, Cousin Katherine
Hello neighbor,
I Happened across your blog and discovered we live in the same area. I was dx'd last November with invasive breast cancer last November. i understand the fears and the anxiety, me too. It's hard to always be positive and strong, find time to blog,work and raise a family. You're not alone. :) Routine seems to have flown out our window for sure. Take care, I will be thinking of you. :)
My wife Dianne had a small calcification removed in early Dec'11 and it concerns me after reading your timeline!
She has history of ovarian cancer on mothers side too.
She goes in for yearly exams and I constantly remind her of the importance scheduling this!
Stay strong my friend.
Best regards,
EJ
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